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Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Im having a slientlove.... wad does tis means? thought tat being together with her.. i could found my happiness... after i realised its not... between her and me.... we are so slient.... yah...i know... she need time.... not tat i wan to ask.... i been wanting to know when i doubt she will tell me... is a fact tat i love her... and i know she loves me also.... but.. i found no happiness between us... we didn tok much find it very hard to make her appreciate me.. she doesn wan to be pampered.... she does not wan those sweet talkings.... and i accept it... i jus dun understand... goin to school together goin home together was a hard job for her... when i ask her whether she wan to go home with me onot.. she said no need.. jus i expected.... i jus wanna know when can we be together openly..... i does not wan to plae silentlove..... i can excuse her in school... but outside? i cnt believe is still the same.... it hurts... sometimes... i wonderin whether she know tat she hurt me... i dun wan to force her.... she's my everything... when i look at her.... my heart is tellin me sumting... she is th one who is making my life worthy... where is my happiness? may i know?? im telling myself.... let her hav all the time she need... day by day.... i see no changes.... i started to felt neglected.... sumtimes i dun even hav the chance to talk to her... she always stick with elaine,meihua,wenqi they all de... but... nvr did i realised... elaine,trenna, meihua are helpin me and clarin ... she always ask why clarin always keep a distance from me... and why she did those ungrateful things to me... but i forgive her if she feels uncomfortable... am i a disgrace to her? i cnt feel the love she had for me.... i jus wan to prove tat i love you.... did u mean tat u doesn wan to give me tis chance? am i not worthy for u? if yes, why u hav to said yes in the first place? or r u telling me tat becuz of me, ur friends might think tat ur taste sux? why do u hav to mind about wad ppl say about us... i dun understand.... why do u hav to care for ur reputation... or am i not important in ur heart? pls tell me an ans.... i dun wan to live in the dark sitting down in a dark corner.... im waiting for u thru out my life.... are you? can u stop rejecting everything tat i ask u? i feels hurt... someday.. i felt lyk crying.... but i dun wan... i wonder if ur reputation is more important than me onot.... if yes. pls let me go out of ur world... im tired... I DUN WAN ALL TIS TO HAPPEN! i want it to be better... if i would let u choose between reputation and me which 1 would u choose?? i wonder.... i care for u... but u doesn wan to accept my care... u always run away from me.... im ur boyfriend... not any normal friend... could u jus trust me with ur heart and be together in a proper way... yah is true tat im smaller than u by 1 month.. does it mean tat u can say tat im always less mature than you.... if u realli think tat im not mature... why did u choose me? i hav alot of question mark in my heart... i do not know how to ans.... i need u by my side to ans my question.... anyway... i jus wan you to realise how much i care for you.... ILY alotalotalotalot....... Rin....when will u understand??? |
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