Friday, May 8, 2009
Today fcuking sad lahsss!! morning go bus stop wait for dear... thn she come down the bus with elaine,wenqi,meihua they all.. actually is onli me and her walk together to sch d... she keep stick with they all.. ok lo thn i wait after tat the whole bunch of girls walk together... wah...(FCUK!) thn i think if she wan to follow her friends continue ignore me... thn go ahead lo... thn i walk fast to sch find zr... somehow she msg me ask me why walk fast?? i nvr reply.. tis whole thing affected my performance during math paper and his paper... i cnt concentrate... i keep thinking abt the sad things b4 exam... my mind suddenly become blank... my heart was somehow bleeding?? tears was trying to come out... but i hold it there... i think hor... ltr the lunch with her sua liao la after the day.. she realli come ask me wan go lunch together onot... but with renfang and idk who beside renfang forgot liao... i wan to ha lunch with her alone d... haii~~ i thot she understood my means... but she didn... instead... go hav lunch with other ppl lo.... she nvr understand how much i need her... if realli treat me as boyfriend... she should hav ask me for lunch alone.... and in the morning should auto come beside me thn go le not waiting for her friends... being with her i thot i can be happier and concentrate on my studies well... but nvr did i realised... its no different... instead it has become worse... hav i disturbed ur life?? i wanna let go.... sadness has cover my happines... i cnt see the future of us... dear..... i love you so much.... hav u ever loved me..??? why do i feel neglected always.?? if u think it is difficult to choose between friends and me... thn i rather u let me go.... im in pain... im tired.... dun promis me anything tat u cnt do.... jus lyk today... actually is onli me and you together go to sch... in the end... i could feel u got alot of light bulbs around you.... mayb i would hide in a dark corner and wish tat u hav nvr ever noticed me.... u might think tat tis is a small matter... or u might say im exaggerating... but to me.. everything counts in my heart... im i a close friend or boyfriend to u? if im ur boyfriend... prove to me tat im yours.... again and again i trust u with my heart... again and again u took a needle and slash thru my heart.... u hav made me lost faith in relationship let me go..... im dying...... |
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