Tuesday, January 19, 2010
![]() Hi guys, im blogging again as u can see, i must say, my spiritual life is getting worsen... i dunno why.... it happened during th previous service, after worshipping and praise, i suddenly felt nothing about god.... felt lyk backsliding... after since, i have gone berserk.... im starting to become th "old ian"... i felt tat god's door has banned me... at tat point of time, i was going reckless of anything.... wad should i do.... everything seems to be goin bak to the starting point... infront of me, there was no path for me to walk on... wad i see is, fog..... i started to think, i mean, all this while, i been a hypocrite infront of god!?! omg.... wad a hypocrite i am... days by days, i began to feel, god is walking away from me, further and further.... no one was beside me... but alone.... As today u had seen me, i may look normal to u, but inside my heart, it turns into a black heart.... a black heart tat is only darkness in it.... my mind is in a whirlwind... as things get worsen day by day, the devil seems to be talking to me... i dunno why... grrr.... cuz of this, my actions and behaviour became a havoc.... wad r the things i can do now? wad should i do? is god willing to bring me bak to his kingdom? OMG... im so deeply in debt to god.... i have asking myself.. wad th hell is happening to me... the "old ian" is back..... |
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